Hello, my dear soon-to-be airborne friends! I dare say I’m about to take you all on a delightful journey. If you're wondering why that’s funny, it’s because you’re the ones who’ll actually be traveling on Allegiant Airline, and I’ll be here merely providing colorful commentary, from the comfort of my desk chair. Off we fly, from the rather oddly named Allentown to (hold your chuckles) North Central West Virginia Airport. They sure didn’t recruit a poet when deciding on that name, huh? But hey, as our dear friend Shakespeare once said, “What’s in a name?” Even with a moniker as uninspiring as that one, there’s a surprising amount of fun to be had on such a route.

Come to think of it, have you even heard of Allentown, dear travelers? If you haven't, don’t fret. I must confess, before writing this I hadn’t either. But for a place named after the riveting act of allocating a piece of land, it’s a surprisingly lively place. Gallivanting around Allentown, I assure you, will be as exciting as sunbathing in the arctic circle. Be sure to visit Billy’s Downtown Diner. With an all-American menu and zesty milkshakes to kill (or rather please) your tastebuds, it's worth purging your calorie-counting app for.

But now it's time to leave your Allentown adventures behind. With a pang of sweet sorrow, you board your Allegiant Airlines aircraft. Allegiant is known for its no-frills, budget-friendly service. Tight seating, limited amenities, but hey, isn’t discomfort the make of true adventure? I jest, of course, but earnestly, despite everything it's all decidedly enjoyable. Even the tiny little pretzel snacks, which seem to multiply in your mouth like gremlins under a waterfall.

After what feels like an eternity in an airborne tin can, you land in the grandiosely named North Central West Virginia Airport. NCWV, as the cool kids like to call it, is a rather more bite-sized way to address the mouthful that is its full name. Now, while the airport may be as buzzing as a hibernating bear, do not be disheartened, fly riders, because West Virginia has plenty to offer.

There’s the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum – and spoiler alert, it’s as crazy as it sounds. The place is apparently haunted, so if you're looking for an extra passenger to bring back, this might be your chance. River Rafting in the New River Gorge is another must-try. Wipe your minds clean of tranquillity; there’s none of that here. It’s just pure unadulterated adrenaline pumping through your veins.

Who would have ever thought a trip from Allentown to North Central West Virginia would hold such charm? Laughter and novelty await you at every corner of this journey. So strap in, keep your spirits high and enjoy the ride. And if you find a gremlin in the woods of West Virginia, remember to keep it away from water after midnight!