Comfortably nestled in your hurriedly reclined airline seat, you may wonder why the plastic cup of sky-high coffee you didn't order from Allegiant Air is suddenly free. Could it be an unexpected benevolent gesture from the low-cost, no-wait-no-frills airline, or is it an attempt to pacify passengers bracing themselves for a flight that promises to be as smooth as a dune buggy ride?

For those brave enough to embark on this adventure from the Live Music Capital of the World, Austin, you might consider whether a cowboy hat might offer some extra protection. After all, the lulling lullabies of live music you are accustomed to will be swapped for the ever-so-harmonic drone of Allegiant Air's engines.

It seems fitting then, that this journey will conclude at the Portsmouth International Airport at Pease, a location known more for its previous life as an Air Force base than for its bustling passenger traffic. Upon landing, do prepare for a rather ceremonial salute from the coastal winds that frequent the runway. As you step off the plane and onto the tarmac, the smell of the ocean will hit your nostrils like a well-intended, but undercooked, seafood platter.

And, when, you ask? Oh, the sprightly hours of dawn, of course! Allegiant holds steadfast in the belief that nothing screams 'vacation' like a starlit stroll to the airport gate at 4 am. Observing airport employees trudging through their pre-dawn day, sporting expressions usually reserved for root canal visits, will add to the surreal ambiance – a real transcendental journey for the sheer forced thrill of it all.

All this is not to say traveling the Jack Kerouac-inspired route from Austin to Portsmouth is an exercise in masochism. Far from it. Allegiant has its own quaint charm found in its simple offerings. From the flight attendants who respond to 'I'd like some peanuts please' with a quizzical quirk of the eyebrow, to the captivating game of Seatbelt Tetris, their unique brand of 'hospitality' at 35,000 feet can be quite endearing. It makes for whimsically amusing in-flight anecdotes that will surely amuse (or horrify) your loved ones for years to come.

If anything, Allegiant Air offers its passengers a starkly realistic, stripped-down interpretation of air travel. This, ladies and gentlemen, is not a practice run. This is when the rubber hits the road – or in this case, the rubber hits the strip of asphalt usually referred to as a runway.

So, travelers, when preparing to journey from Austin to Portsmouth International Airport at Pease via Allegiant, don your spirit of adventure as you would a treasured pair of flip flops. Pack your sense of humor in with your toiletries, and remember, the best stories often start with unexpected adventures. So, buckle up and get ready for a flight that is bound to leave you laughing – faintly at first, then uncontrollably, possibly followed by bouts of uncontrollable sobbing, and ultimately ending in a kind of resigned chuckle, much like life itself.